A month ago, I was sitting in the gymnasium while watching a birthday celebration when I received the text message that shocked my life.
I didn’t expect it at all because I thought that he was fine and he was recovering. I didn’t know what really happened that time because I was panicking really bad, I was freaking out. I was crying all my emotions out. I was like really numb that time. He left me. He left me with nothing. He left me with a broken heart. He left me all alone. He’s gone.
I went to the hospital really fast because I can’t handle my emotions anymore and I just want to see him. I just want to hug him. I just want to tell him that I love him. I just want to kiss him. I just want to say sorry.
The moment that I saw him, that’s the most heart breaking moment ever. I just lost my life. I lost everything. All the memories and happy moments, are sinking in my mind. Seventeen years is not enough. This is not happening.
At first, to tell you that truth, I was crying all the time because he’s gone. I told myself that he left me for a reason. Well I guess that reason is really huge and I can’t handle it anymore. I also told myself that he’s everywhere and he’s watching me 24/7. But sadly, I can’t see him anymore.
To be honest with you, I don’t even know how to survive with out him. He’s my everything and he’s my life. I’m trying to survive my daily life with out him even though it’s really hard and depressing. I need to fight. I need to fight for my life. I need to finish this battle, because you want me to. I’ll be strong. I promise.
I just miss him really bad. I miss your everything. I miss you so much and I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. I just want to see you again. I just want to hug you again. I want to sleep next to you again. I want you to sing me to sleep again. I want you to cook for me again. I want you to hear your voice, your lame jokes and your weird laugh again.
Remember when I told you that “I love you”, you said “I love you also”. You we’re smiling that time and I never see you smiled like that before. I was laughing really hard because you’re so cute. But now I’m crying with happiness and pain because you never stop loving me ever since. And I’m really thankful with that. I’m glad that you were there for me. Unfortunately I didn’t took the time to thank you from the bottom of my heart. And I’m really sorry for that.
I swore to you and to God that I will be strong as long you will help. I will never forget you and I love you always. You will always be my Yeye. Forever.